Being Afraid of Not Getting What We Want

Asalam alaykum loves! I hope you are in the best state of Eman and Health! During these summer months, we can get hot and complain, and I know even for me I get cold in the AC so it's like a never ending process of varying temperatures. Although we are reminded during the extreme heat that there are countries that experience far worse temperatures (here in Minnesota highest it can get to is 87 Degrees Fahrenheit or 30 Degrees Celsius and I know in some countries like Saudi Arabia and Pakistan). As well as being reminded that Hellfire is hot and doing our best in terms of good deeds to not end up there.

May Allah grant us His infinite mercy to protect us from Hellfire and grant us into Paradise!

So I was having thoughts the other day about how selfish I can be in terms of not relying on Allah. I want to ask for Allah's guidance and pray the Salat Istikarah where you ask for Allah to grant you signs whether an opportunity is best for you or not. Literally in the dua it says if this is good for my world life and hereafter grant it for me, make it easy for me and bless it for me BUT if it is not meant for me, show me that it is not good for me, take me away from it and grant me better than it.

Translation of the Dua:

"O Allah! I seek goodness from Your Knowledge and with Your Power (and Might) I seek strength, and I ask from You Your Great Blessings, because You have the Power and I do not have the power. You Know everything and I do not know, and You have knowledge of the unseen. Oh Allah! If in Your Knowledge this action ------------------------------------------------ (which I intend to do) is better for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then make it destined for me and make it easy for me and then add blessings [baraka'] in it, for me. O Allah! In Your Knowledge if this action is bad for me, bad for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then turn it away from me and turn me away from it and whatever is better for me, ordain [destine] that for me and then make me satisfied with it."

Now I have a close friend that always recommends I make this prayer with the dua so that I am shown what is best for me sooner. I have always been reluctant to pray this because usually my heart and mind are made up before I can even pray it. The thing about this is, I am trusting myself to know what is best for me rather than the Creator who knows better than I do. I think it is definitely human of us, we value our desires and wants and needs so much we forget or sometimes refuse to seek guidance. When we do seek guidance, it is from the people and not Allah, which people can sometimes not know what is best or have the wrong intentions and not want what is best for you.

If we think about it, we get disappointed when we do not get something we are hoping and praying for. We have to remind ourselves that Allah withholds blessings only because He can give us something better than what we are asking for, give it to us in the next life or give us time to grow as a person, learn more patience and build that connection with Him by continuously going to Him for guidance and help. It also is a lesson that we should go to Allah for everything, not only when we are desperate for something, but also when we are happy, sad and angry, because Allah will not turn away.

We do not have the ability to see in the future, to see the unseen and to know what will happen next. If we can be protected from something that will hurt us or bring us harm I would rather be steered away from this opportunity than engage in it, get attached to it and wish and regret later that I had involved myself in the first place. Sometimes we focus so much on I want this right now, rather than thinking and reflecting on the pros and cons and consequences of our quick actions. When we want something we have to think about if it is something we need, is it something that will bring you closer to Allah, that will support and uplift you in your skills, experience and happiness.

May Allah protect us from people and opportunities that are not good for us, and bring us something better than we could even have imagined and grant us contentment and gratitude with it.

Part of this prayer, is sometimes we expect to know right away after we pray it, whether we should go ahead with the opportunity, but sometimes it is best to pray it multiple times. You may not always necessarily have a dream or a sign, but sometimes in your heart you will feel what is best. Sometimes before you can event take action the opportunity goes away or is turned down for you. Which Alhumdulah if you are like me and sometimes have a hard time refusing or saying no, is great because then it is the other person or opportunity going away and you are not the one ending it.

At the end of the day, sometimes we have to realize there will always be other opportunities or people to marry, houses to buy or jobs to obtain. Yes you may have expected and wanted it to work out but Allah is protecting you from something that could have ended very badly. Is it better to not have gone through with this action be a little upset and disappointed at the beginning then later on feel like why didn't I ask for guidance from Allah because now I am stuck in this situation and cannot get out so easily. We shouldn't rely to much on our own desires because they can change quickly, but also listen to your feelings when you are getting bad vibes, red flags and noticing things you know you do not like or cannot deal with. Sometimes we have rose colored glasses on and ignore those feelings telling you to run away or not continue because we think we know what is best for ourselves but we really don't. 

I hope this all makes sense, I am realizing I need to pray Istikarah more because I do want that protection and to be saved from people and actions that are not good for me. In the past I was afraid to pray because then the thing I had wanted so much would then be taken away from me. BUT I do not want my heart attached to what is not meant for me and not good for my Dunya and Akhirah (world life and hereafter). 

May Allah protect us all from harmful people and actions and make us turn to Him often and rely on Him!