Bullying: Being ignored, excluded or shunned : Shoutout to All My Weirdos
Asalam alaykum loves, I am writing this at 2 am because of course because I have a weird sleep schedule and I am up at odd hours of the night. Anyways I was thinking of pet peeves and how one of my top is being ignored by others. It literally irritates my very soul if someone takes forever to reply to a message (meaning like weeks or longer) or just reads my message and never replies. I get people are busy, I am one of those fast repliers, communication to me is so important so I make efforts to respond as quick as I can. I know everyone has different personalities so I cannot expect everyone to be the same way. It is more like I know when someone cares when they put in the effort to take the time to ask how I am doing, ask how my day went or even think to send a message just saying I am thinking of you, sorry things are hectic lately.
I think my pet peeve of being ignored also stems a lot from my own past. In high school, girls would ignore me and that was their bullying tactic, to leave me out of conversations and make me feel inferior or unworthy. I remember even a friend of mine in middle school we had either a disagreement or she was upset at me for something and I spent time trying to talk to her and she just didn't acknowledge me. I spent the bus ride home that afternoon crying my heart out.
There were probably countless other times were I was bullied or ignored throughout middle school and high school. For appearing too nerdy because I wore glasses, for not being cool enough fitting into a proper crowd or group of people, for being awkward, clumsy, weird, for being black but not black enough and for being Muslim. Oh yeah and also for my teeth cause my front teeth are bigger than the rest of my teeth.
You know during those times I probably was very hurt and even now I am like wow all that stuff being said to me was messed up. I say now those experiences made me stronger and now I have a thicker skin so if someone comes at me calling me ugly or makes fun of my teeth, I can laugh it off and chop it down to their own insecurities and anger to lashing out and calling me names. I did get contacts in my senior year of high school which made me feel more confident and less nerdy, which hey smh now all of a sudden WEARING GLASSES IS COOL?! Like people who aren't born with bad eyesight now are wearing non prescription glasses cause its cool now like why wasn't that a thing when I was a kid.
But anyways I grew into my face and don't feel as awful looking (sometimes) as I did in high school. It brings me comfort to know money and time can change someone's appearance but people who bully whether its through cruel words, physical harm or through excluding others or looking down on them , unless they have a personality upgrade or change of heart, they will remain that way.
So I am veering off my pet peeve of ignoring, it may seem silly to you but for some people when you make them feel like they aren't worthy of a response it makes them feel really low and unloved. It's like whether you are ignored in person or online, it's like a punch to the face, a sign that you are not important and you don't deserve to be treated fairly. I know in the past for me being ignored used to bring me to absolute tears and make me feel like dirt on the bottom of an old gym shoe.
So I guess what can be taken away from all this is that there are times in life where others make us feel down and unimportant because of their lack of attention and communication. You can do one of three things: continue to let them do that to you and say nothing and feel miserable about it, say something about it and hopefully they realize ignoring you really hurts your feelings and they get better with their communication or you mention it and they don't change and you move on with your life focusing on people who make an effort to respond and care about you.
I just wanted to share my experience having been ignored and even sometimes now being ignored. I hope you and even myself come to learn that our worth is not based on whether someone makes us a priority. If you have made it clear it bothers you being ignored and they continue to do it knowing it hurts you, they are not worth you putting in constant effort to hardly hear from them. Sometimes we have to deal with individuals like family that suck at replying and communicating, and you are stuck with them because we have to upkeep the ties of kinship but again do not let their lack of effort affect you.
I think my pet peeve of being ignored also stems a lot from my own past. In high school, girls would ignore me and that was their bullying tactic, to leave me out of conversations and make me feel inferior or unworthy. I remember even a friend of mine in middle school we had either a disagreement or she was upset at me for something and I spent time trying to talk to her and she just didn't acknowledge me. I spent the bus ride home that afternoon crying my heart out.
There were probably countless other times were I was bullied or ignored throughout middle school and high school. For appearing too nerdy because I wore glasses, for not being cool enough fitting into a proper crowd or group of people, for being awkward, clumsy, weird, for being black but not black enough and for being Muslim. Oh yeah and also for my teeth cause my front teeth are bigger than the rest of my teeth.
You know during those times I probably was very hurt and even now I am like wow all that stuff being said to me was messed up. I say now those experiences made me stronger and now I have a thicker skin so if someone comes at me calling me ugly or makes fun of my teeth, I can laugh it off and chop it down to their own insecurities and anger to lashing out and calling me names. I did get contacts in my senior year of high school which made me feel more confident and less nerdy, which hey smh now all of a sudden WEARING GLASSES IS COOL?! Like people who aren't born with bad eyesight now are wearing non prescription glasses cause its cool now like why wasn't that a thing when I was a kid.
But anyways I grew into my face and don't feel as awful looking (sometimes) as I did in high school. It brings me comfort to know money and time can change someone's appearance but people who bully whether its through cruel words, physical harm or through excluding others or looking down on them , unless they have a personality upgrade or change of heart, they will remain that way.
So I am veering off my pet peeve of ignoring, it may seem silly to you but for some people when you make them feel like they aren't worthy of a response it makes them feel really low and unloved. It's like whether you are ignored in person or online, it's like a punch to the face, a sign that you are not important and you don't deserve to be treated fairly. I know in the past for me being ignored used to bring me to absolute tears and make me feel like dirt on the bottom of an old gym shoe.
So I guess what can be taken away from all this is that there are times in life where others make us feel down and unimportant because of their lack of attention and communication. You can do one of three things: continue to let them do that to you and say nothing and feel miserable about it, say something about it and hopefully they realize ignoring you really hurts your feelings and they get better with their communication or you mention it and they don't change and you move on with your life focusing on people who make an effort to respond and care about you.
I just wanted to share my experience having been ignored and even sometimes now being ignored. I hope you and even myself come to learn that our worth is not based on whether someone makes us a priority. If you have made it clear it bothers you being ignored and they continue to do it knowing it hurts you, they are not worth you putting in constant effort to hardly hear from them. Sometimes we have to deal with individuals like family that suck at replying and communicating, and you are stuck with them because we have to upkeep the ties of kinship but again do not let their lack of effort affect you.
YOU ARE IMPORTANT. YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU DESERVE PEOPLE TO LOVE AND COMMUNICATE WITH YOU. NEVER FORGET THAT. MAY ALLAH GIVE YOU WHAT IS BEST!
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