Self Esteem, Body Image and the Struggle to Love Yourself
Asalam alaykum loves! I know I was just writing the other day but I have so many ideas that are yet to be unlocked and uncaged from my brain and written down. This one is regarding self esteem. I think being a young woman I have always had this battle with how I looked. From not feeling " White or European" enough in my features or hair type, to feeling unattractive due to my crooked teeth and having bad eyesight, and feeling fat and not having a certain body type. To be honest I don't think I have ever been 100% satisfied with my appearance, but I have definitely adapted to the things I cannot change about how I look and accept them as unique parts of my self and continue to work on what I can change , not for others, but to be more confident and happier inside and out.
I don't have a way to improve anyone's self esteem, I wish there was a magic cure but it always starts with your own thoughts of how you view yourself and changing those negative thoughts into positive ones. Sometimes seeking out a connection with God and with those who are encouraging and supportive can help you build confidence and love yourself. Sometimes finding a gym partner or someone who has a similar interest like sports, art, writing or organizing helps you feel better about who you are as well. Whatever you need to do to love yourself more and accept who you are no matter what age or stage of life you are in.
May Allah protect your self worth, not make you become arrogant or think you are above anyone else, but also help you to be confident and positive on how you view yourself. May Allah surround you with individuals who uplift and care for you no matter what!
This hijab, this symbol of obedience to her Lord of the heavens above,
Shows her piety and modesty for the Creator she loves,
Walking down the street other people recognize her for her religion, the Deen
And yeah they may shout, be disrespectful and mean,
But she knows she's showing others her intelligence and what she has accomplished,
Not her body, for others to gawk at and to be treated like a symbol of desire, an object,
she deserves to be treated like a human being and to get respect,
she is a leader, an example, a model for future generations,
And she will continue to hold her head up, to go after her aspirations, being for others an inspiration.
So I had written a similar poem ages ago, referencing World Hijab Day (which I think happens in February every year) which is a day when others share their stories of wearing the hijab and some college campuses may even hold a Hijab try on, where others can experience a Day in the Life of a Hijabi. I lost the original one I wrote so I kind of rewrote it but it may be a little altered than the first. Anyways I wanted to include a poem like this because it honestly just gives this vibe that as Muslim women we are definitely still put down, treated like objects and disrespected. You still have self esteem, body image and self confidence issues even though people cannot see you because you are covered. In fact is it easy for us to hide behind the shield that is a religious symbol, to hide our insecurities and eating issues because no one sees it. If there are any parts of yourself you would like to work on or change, hijab does give you that space to work on it personally without the judgement and looks from other people. It is also good because you should want to build up yourself for you and not other people.
I think for me combating my self esteem was worse when I was in high school when there was this pressure to look or dress a certain way and if you looked weird or different you were bullied. I think with time I realized I cannot fit into other people's standards of beauty and if you have a problem with my features, how I dress and identify that sounds like a personal problem that has nothing to do with me. Self esteem is so important for young people to have because without it people can bring you down and make you feel worthless. I know at the time of high school because of my low self esteem it made it easy for people to take advantage of me because i thought very little of myself. Even in my early 20's I was putting myself down or feeling unworthy of people who paid attention to me.
Body image and how you view yourself physically can affect your self esteem a lot. Looking at the photo above makes me even cringe a bit because I was heavier back then (this was last year). For me I have been working on my health and losing weight but there are times I still look in the mirror and tell myself ew gross, or you're fat or ugh I see progress but still not where I want to be. I have to sort of push those negative thoughts away, I have lost weight so I can stop complaining about how I feel and to make myself feel better. I may not have reached my goal BUT I am getting there slowly. For health and weight loss goals they are definitely a slow journey and there are times that I am like ugh I will never get where I want to be. You have to motivate yourself by saying, I have made progress even if it is slow and I will get where I want to be through hard work and determination. Love yourself at each and every stage of your journey because if you hate on yourself too much you will only discourage yourself.
Besides weight, there are other physical features or in general your personality or character which can cause you to have low self esteem. You may hate your nose, or your hair type, or how your teeth look or your eyebrows. You may feel like you are too quiet, or too loud, or not talented enough. These are all thoughts that we have swirling around in our heads, whether we just have something about ourselves we dislike or were bullied and even told by someone we love that we were inadequate in some way. You really have to fight these thoughts, whether someone pointed out your nose or tummy or called you boring, don't let anyone including yourself make yourself feel inferior or not good enough. There are some things about yourself that working out cannot change and if you decide to make changes to improve your life do it for yourself and not because of the negativity in your mind or for others. Self love is a lifelong journey and there will be times and moments you are unhappy with who you are but realizing that you are confident, strong, you are worth it and you matter will help you through those darkest moments.
I think for me combating my self esteem was worse when I was in high school when there was this pressure to look or dress a certain way and if you looked weird or different you were bullied. I think with time I realized I cannot fit into other people's standards of beauty and if you have a problem with my features, how I dress and identify that sounds like a personal problem that has nothing to do with me. Self esteem is so important for young people to have because without it people can bring you down and make you feel worthless. I know at the time of high school because of my low self esteem it made it easy for people to take advantage of me because i thought very little of myself. Even in my early 20's I was putting myself down or feeling unworthy of people who paid attention to me.
Body image and how you view yourself physically can affect your self esteem a lot. Looking at the photo above makes me even cringe a bit because I was heavier back then (this was last year). For me I have been working on my health and losing weight but there are times I still look in the mirror and tell myself ew gross, or you're fat or ugh I see progress but still not where I want to be. I have to sort of push those negative thoughts away, I have lost weight so I can stop complaining about how I feel and to make myself feel better. I may not have reached my goal BUT I am getting there slowly. For health and weight loss goals they are definitely a slow journey and there are times that I am like ugh I will never get where I want to be. You have to motivate yourself by saying, I have made progress even if it is slow and I will get where I want to be through hard work and determination. Love yourself at each and every stage of your journey because if you hate on yourself too much you will only discourage yourself.
Besides weight, there are other physical features or in general your personality or character which can cause you to have low self esteem. You may hate your nose, or your hair type, or how your teeth look or your eyebrows. You may feel like you are too quiet, or too loud, or not talented enough. These are all thoughts that we have swirling around in our heads, whether we just have something about ourselves we dislike or were bullied and even told by someone we love that we were inadequate in some way. You really have to fight these thoughts, whether someone pointed out your nose or tummy or called you boring, don't let anyone including yourself make yourself feel inferior or not good enough. There are some things about yourself that working out cannot change and if you decide to make changes to improve your life do it for yourself and not because of the negativity in your mind or for others. Self love is a lifelong journey and there will be times and moments you are unhappy with who you are but realizing that you are confident, strong, you are worth it and you matter will help you through those darkest moments.
I don't have a way to improve anyone's self esteem, I wish there was a magic cure but it always starts with your own thoughts of how you view yourself and changing those negative thoughts into positive ones. Sometimes seeking out a connection with God and with those who are encouraging and supportive can help you build confidence and love yourself. Sometimes finding a gym partner or someone who has a similar interest like sports, art, writing or organizing helps you feel better about who you are as well. Whatever you need to do to love yourself more and accept who you are no matter what age or stage of life you are in.
May Allah protect your self worth, not make you become arrogant or think you are above anyone else, but also help you to be confident and positive on how you view yourself. May Allah surround you with individuals who uplift and care for you no matter what!
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