Jealousy: The Beast Within Us

A pang hits,

these feelings of sadness and longing,

wanting what someone has,

but knowing it isn't a good feeling to have,

you try to push it away and fight it,

but it remains,

it is a little beast roaring inside,

I want that, I wish , IF only I had what they have.

Stop it. Stop Saying that,

they deserve to be happy, they deserve what they have,

you should not care and hope for the best and be happy for them.

Go away! Go away you beast!

I don't need your negative thoughts!

You have fought this beast, you overcame it, you pray for gratitude and peace,

 and for good things for others you might think have it better than you

But you know it isn't the end, 

that it will roar its ugly head once again to

make you feel miserable about your blessings,

and to feel this way about other people

so it ruins your relationships and makes you feel unhappy.

But when it comes back, you will be more prepared and stronger than before.

This feeling I am describing is jealousy, the feeling of seeing someone and wanting what they have. It can be anything, like their happy relationship, or that they have kids, or money or a job or a school or their ability to travel. It is such an annoying feeling to have because at least me personally I don't want to feel that about another person. Part of Islam is to love for yourself what you would love for others. So we should we happy about other people succeeding, or graduating or gaining something great for themselves. You should want it for them and want it for yourself. 

With all that said and done , it doesn't change that you are human and jealously is something we all experience at some point in time. I mean I have felt jealous over petty things like one friend getting to spend more time with another friend and feeling left out. Or over someone giving a compliment to someone else.

In learning and teaching myself more about Allah, I know that He has power over all things, that he grants blessings and takes them away. And that he tests us with our wealth, health, those we love and this world in general. So this world will appear to be so great and amazing, with all this glitter and shine. But what we have in this life is temporary and I hope that the blessings or struggles we receive only get us closer to our permanent home in the afterlife, paradise In Sha Allah.

I am learning when I start to have these feelings to pray to Allah to take them away, to give the person I am jealous of more blessings and happiness and to increase them in their Iman, one way to get rid of those feelings is to say MashAllah Allahumma Barik out loud so that we do not give them any negative or bad or harm towards them.

Also just making sincere dua for Allah to help us to be content, to focus on our own goals and Pray that Allah gives us what is best for us in this life and the Hereafter. If someone else has something that you are wanting or praying for, trust that Allah will give you something similar or something you couldn't even imagine recieving. If not in this life, in the hereafter.

Isn't a good feeling to be jealous. But know that you are not alone and that no one's life is perfect and to redirect your thinking and to say Alhumdilah for what Allah gave you because there could be someone out there who is jealous of what you have because we do not recognize our own blessings when we start to look at what others have.

I went to a halaqa this week and we were talking about the power of dua and zhikhr or remembrance and praise of Allah and how simple continuous repetition of words like Alhumdilah, Subhan Allah, Allahu Akbar, La Ilaha Ilah Lah, how they can have an impact on our hearts and our duas being answered. There is a website, http://www.sujood.co/ , that my friend told me of, May Allah reward her for sharing this, where you can enter your emotions (well select it from the menu) and it brings up duas that you can say related to whatever emotion you are currently feeling. 

If you hit jealous here is what it comes up with:

 Oh Allah, clean away all forms of evil from my heart. Oh Allah, clean my heart and remove everything that displeases you. Oh Allah, clean my heart of all every form of bitterness, hard feelings, and jealousy.

Transliteration:

Allahumma Tahhir Qalbee min kulli suu, Allahumma Tahhir Qalbee min kulli maa yubaGGiDuk. Allahumma Tahhir Qalbee min kulli Gillin wa HiQdin wa Hasadin wa kibr.

May Allah protect us all from Shaytan, from having evil thoughts or wishing harm on others or ourselves , May whenever we feel jealous or bad about what we don't attempt to count the blessings our Lord has given us and realize we have so much, may we realize there are others who have a lot more tests and struggles and keep them in our duas as well. May we find comfort in friends and family and in most of Allah to confide our feelings and thoughts.

Stay blessed my friends!