You are Too Emotional: The Struggle with Being Sensitive
Hello loves! I have been meaning to write about this topic for SOOOOOO long! It is just a struggle I have had since I was young. Having to deal with others and knowing that things can upset me more easily. I know there are others who are chastised for not being tough enough or for crying easily when really, not everyone in the world is going to be some strong built wall or house that never breaks down!
If you think about it, we are born into this world crying, announcing our arrival and letting our exhausted mothers and relieved doctors that we are breathing and have a healthy set of lungs. They say that babies also cry when they are born because they have lived in their mothers wombs for nine months, warm and safe in the amniotic fluid.
That transition from being inside that sac tucked away to being in the wide, open air and in this new, loud world is frightening and frankly, traumatic.
As you grow older, the tolerance for crying and being emotional diminishes. A baby cries to communicate their needs, a toddler cries because developmentally they are not able to regulate their emotions. Their temper tantrums is a result of their inability to handle the world and its frustrations.
When you are a teenager, of course comes the mood swings and hormones come about, you may find yourself crying because you have a pile of homework, or because someone broke your heart or you got into a fight with your best friend. The emotional triggers here can be anything because of the experience of dealing with transitioning through body changes, peer pressure and learning who you are.
I remember being a young child and crying about everything. I used to cry every time Mufasa died at the end of the Lion King, even though I KNEW it was going to happen. I used to cry at preschool and kindergarten because I missed my mom and I was the youngest out of all of the students. I would cry in middle school when I fought with my friends or I got bullied (which was a lot for being a hijabi and a weird kid). Even in high school, not much changed, I was constantly told to "toughen up", that I was "too sensitive" and needed to be "more strong" because I cried when anyone was angry with me.
I hated being yelled at and any argument or inconvenience would just bring about the waterworks. Anytime I cried, I was basically told I was acting like a baby and needed to grow up. That as a result of being an only child, I was doted over which made me sensitive and not able to handle stressful situations without bursting in tears.
It wasn't like I was crying every single day,just when things would upset me which wasn't all the time. Crying was my way of dealing with a struggle, a difficulty and dealing with my problems.
What made it even worse was the people closest to me getting mad at me for being in tears. That they could not understand I was a woman and they were women and that women are naturally emotional creatures. Some of them because of their experiences and how life was for them, learned quickly to not show their emotions in front of others and pretend to be okay. I have never thought
that was healthy, just because someone cries does not mean they are not strong and bottling up your emotions until you are alone or never dealing with them at all, it will explode later on either in the form of a fit of rage or crying fit.
I think being a sensitive, emotional result can be the result of an upbringing, maybe someone has been through trauma, bullying or just dealt with losing people through their life. This may be the cause of them being emotional and the best way for them to handle any sadness is to cry.
1) Soothes and calms people down, helps them to regulate their emotions, reduces their sadness
2) Eases physical/emotional pain, body releases Oxycontin and Endorphins
3) Rallies support from people around us
4) Can improve your mood, make you feel better
5) Tears contain stress hormones, releases chemicals which can reduce stress
6) Can help you sleep better
7) Kills bacteria, cleans out eyes, tears contain a fluid called lysozyme
8) Keeps eyes moist, improves vision, prevents it from drying out
The source I got this information from did also mention warning signs of when crying is excessive (not the result of being emotional or sensitive) it can be a sign of depression. So if it happens frequently for no reason, it interrupts and affects your daily life and it becomes to the point where you cannot control, definitely approach your doctor about it. It can be a sign that something serious medically is going on and you want to seek therapy if your mental health is worsening.
Most people I know that are sensitive are also kind and very trusting, which people who may have malicious intentions who see someone with this type of personality, like to swoop in and get that person to do what they want. I never understood those type of people, I feel guilty if I hurt someone or say something hurtful, or I cannot help someone and there are people that exist that can disregard a person's feelings and well-being if it means they gain something materialistic in the end.
It is a blessing in the sense that it makes you more aware of others feelings, sometimes if someone is hurt or sad, you connect to their pain and feel it in your heart too. You are just more hyper aware of not only your own feelings but try to be sensitive to what others are going through since you know you yourself are easily upset.
It is a curse because sensitive people are usually easily offended, I know when people make jokes sometimes I get upset if they seem slightly offensive but aren't exactly mean. You take everything to heart when someone says something hurtful, you believe them but you also allow them back in and give chance after chance. You want others to be pleased, happy and to understand you, but in reality it won't always be the case.
If anyone ever says you are too sensitive or emotional, tell them it is way better than being cold, distant and unable to show your emotions. I would rather be more able to relate to others and understand my feelings and calm myself in a healthy way. Crying also has benefits like I mentioned above so know that if you hardly cry your eyes must be dry and you must be stressed!
Don't let anyone make you feel bad for being an emotional and sensitive person. Even you, don't be hard on yourself. It took me becoming older and having different experiences for me to become better with controlling my emotions. Don't get me wrong I have the occasional cry but I am not crying as much as I used to. Some arguments can end with me in tears but they are rare, I have other methods of coping with my feelings and am able to communicate how I feel to others in different ways.
Sources: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/319631.php#when-to-see-a-doctor
If you think about it, we are born into this world crying, announcing our arrival and letting our exhausted mothers and relieved doctors that we are breathing and have a healthy set of lungs. They say that babies also cry when they are born because they have lived in their mothers wombs for nine months, warm and safe in the amniotic fluid.
That transition from being inside that sac tucked away to being in the wide, open air and in this new, loud world is frightening and frankly, traumatic.
As you grow older, the tolerance for crying and being emotional diminishes. A baby cries to communicate their needs, a toddler cries because developmentally they are not able to regulate their emotions. Their temper tantrums is a result of their inability to handle the world and its frustrations.
When you are a teenager, of course comes the mood swings and hormones come about, you may find yourself crying because you have a pile of homework, or because someone broke your heart or you got into a fight with your best friend. The emotional triggers here can be anything because of the experience of dealing with transitioning through body changes, peer pressure and learning who you are.
I remember being a young child and crying about everything. I used to cry every time Mufasa died at the end of the Lion King, even though I KNEW it was going to happen. I used to cry at preschool and kindergarten because I missed my mom and I was the youngest out of all of the students. I would cry in middle school when I fought with my friends or I got bullied (which was a lot for being a hijabi and a weird kid). Even in high school, not much changed, I was constantly told to "toughen up", that I was "too sensitive" and needed to be "more strong" because I cried when anyone was angry with me.
I hated being yelled at and any argument or inconvenience would just bring about the waterworks. Anytime I cried, I was basically told I was acting like a baby and needed to grow up. That as a result of being an only child, I was doted over which made me sensitive and not able to handle stressful situations without bursting in tears.
I was always frustrated with being told that and anytime I argued back that my personality was being sensitive, that some things made me more easily upset than other people did not mean I needed to change.
What made it even worse was the people closest to me getting mad at me for being in tears. That they could not understand I was a woman and they were women and that women are naturally emotional creatures. Some of them because of their experiences and how life was for them, learned quickly to not show their emotions in front of others and pretend to be okay. I have never thought
that was healthy, just because someone cries does not mean they are not strong and bottling up your emotions until you are alone or never dealing with them at all, it will explode later on either in the form of a fit of rage or crying fit.
I think some people have this view point that oh I grew out of crying and being so emotional, I had to deal with a lot of hardship that made me tough, why can't this person do the same? I also think it is a matter of some people not wanting to deal with an emotional person who cries, some people think it is over the top, that someone should just get over it and move on. Some people seeing someone cry makes them uncomfortable and they feel it is unnecessary to cry over small things.
If you think about it crying has physical benefits, check it out:
2) Eases physical/emotional pain, body releases Oxycontin and Endorphins
3) Rallies support from people around us
4) Can improve your mood, make you feel better
5) Tears contain stress hormones, releases chemicals which can reduce stress
6) Can help you sleep better
7) Kills bacteria, cleans out eyes, tears contain a fluid called lysozyme
8) Keeps eyes moist, improves vision, prevents it from drying out
The source I got this information from did also mention warning signs of when crying is excessive (not the result of being emotional or sensitive) it can be a sign of depression. So if it happens frequently for no reason, it interrupts and affects your daily life and it becomes to the point where you cannot control, definitely approach your doctor about it. It can be a sign that something serious medically is going on and you want to seek therapy if your mental health is worsening.
I think the hard part about being a sensitive person is not only the lack of understanding, that hey sometimes God made me soft hearted and my way of dealing with anger, sadness and frustration is to cry, but also that you are easily taken advantage of.
Most people I know that are sensitive are also kind and very trusting, which people who may have malicious intentions who see someone with this type of personality, like to swoop in and get that person to do what they want. I never understood those type of people, I feel guilty if I hurt someone or say something hurtful, or I cannot help someone and there are people that exist that can disregard a person's feelings and well-being if it means they gain something materialistic in the end.
I tell people sometimes that being sensitive is a blessing and a curse.
It is a blessing in the sense that it makes you more aware of others feelings, sometimes if someone is hurt or sad, you connect to their pain and feel it in your heart too. You are just more hyper aware of not only your own feelings but try to be sensitive to what others are going through since you know you yourself are easily upset.
It is a curse because sensitive people are usually easily offended, I know when people make jokes sometimes I get upset if they seem slightly offensive but aren't exactly mean. You take everything to heart when someone says something hurtful, you believe them but you also allow them back in and give chance after chance. You want others to be pleased, happy and to understand you, but in reality it won't always be the case.
If anyone ever says you are too sensitive or emotional, tell them it is way better than being cold, distant and unable to show your emotions. I would rather be more able to relate to others and understand my feelings and calm myself in a healthy way. Crying also has benefits like I mentioned above so know that if you hardly cry your eyes must be dry and you must be stressed!
Don't let anyone make you feel bad for being an emotional and sensitive person. Even you, don't be hard on yourself. It took me becoming older and having different experiences for me to become better with controlling my emotions. Don't get me wrong I have the occasional cry but I am not crying as much as I used to. Some arguments can end with me in tears but they are rare, I have other methods of coping with my feelings and am able to communicate how I feel to others in different ways.
Surround yourself with people who want to see you smile and not cry <3
Sources: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/319631.php#when-to-see-a-doctor
Wow maa shaa Allaah! This article you wrote is exactly how I feel too! I am so happy to know people like you exist! May Allaah bless you times infinity!
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